Sorry, still couldn’t shake off the rib tickling over that long past episode, Mr. President. Monica’s done astoundingly well with her education and career despite the wide stigma in its wake and that really speaks for your excellent handling, protective bent out of concern for her welfare and high regard for each other.
Your two terms as President benefitted many Americans with a robust economy during your watch. Your place in history as one of the most able American Presidents is secure although I might add one of the horniest too.
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In the absence of electric shock jumpers or a defibrillator device, the best way to jumpstart a failing heart in the throes of seizure is (funny as it may sound but seriously), jerking off.
If your hands are numb and paralyzed you could ask a Good Samaritan to dispense with the usual CPR and just give you a hand or blow job. However, it would be awkward if a nun or a man of the cloth was first on the scene. Or a pretty lady would not necessarily believe you.
If you are driving alone and suddenly get a heart attack, park your vehicle safely on the side of the road then insert one nitro tablet under the tongue. Unzip your fly and think of Megan Fox. Lie back on the seat and open the window for more ventilation.
An Officer pulls up.
“May I ask sir, what you are doing?”
“I’m having a heart attack!”
“Well, me too, bucko.”
“Seriously Officer, give me a hand or something, call 911!”
“You are doing fine on your own. Maybe you mean call Madame Xaviera, license and registration please.”
“Aaarrrgh, I’m passing out, going, passing, coming, passing, I’m coming, I’m coming!”
“Okay that’s it, out of the car, hands in the air and spread the legs,” the officer stepped back and drew his sidearm.
Subject stepped out with his hands up and with fly sticking out, hanging loosely like a floppy elongated balloon.
“Oh my, my, that is a beauty you got there Pilgrim, don’t mind if I help myself to some of that delectable Bavarian sausage.”
“Oh Officer!”
Car zips by with a couple in front and their little girl gawking out the window from the rear.
“Dad, that policeman is sucking that man just like what you do to the newsboy in the garage when Mom is away!”
Screeching tires and a crash is heard.
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