You have to take a big leak but can’t locate a toilet.
You stumble into a time warp.
You find yourself in the middle of a parched desert.
You goose step relentlessly on the scorching and shifting sands to reach a cluster of strange forms in the horizon.
You tread with an urgency to reach the makeshift shelter in the middle of the dune to seek a restroom to release the giant dam swelling to burst in your groin.
The scene that greets you throws you back momentarily.
There in a semi circle with their heads and two arms pinned on wooden boards are women left to bake under the merciless sun as a form of torture unto death by dehydration.
There are seven of them about to expire in 13 seconds if they don’t get some juice real fast.
You must unzip with super speed like superman (no time to run to a nearby phone booth) and ram your bloated faucet into the open mouth of the one you have chosen to save in an instant.
You only have two seconds to think, two seconds to unsheathe your fly, three seconds to run forward, and six seconds to empty out your bladder into the orifice of the one you love.
They are all begging for it.
You glance at your choices in a panic.
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PARIS HILTON
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PAULA ABDUL
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BRITNEY SPEARS
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JESSICA SIMPSON
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YOUR OFFICE SECRETARY
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YOUR NEIGHBOR'S WIFE
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YOUR WIFE
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Paris Hilton is so sophisticated with a wild side and a love of fun. You’d probably feel so smooth at the start but get a jolt in the middle when she joins in with zest.
Paula Abdul’s jaws are so wide that your whole assembly could easily slide in with room to spare. Her bullish throat looks built for heavy duty throttling. You could be blown away by the mixture of sensations like you poked yours inside a blender or a juicer.
Britney Spears can really loosen you up and let out a flood of water and emotions. She can be so spirited and creative even when immobilized by restraints with only her lips and tongue wagging free. You’d wanna bend down after the purge and engage her in a deep smooch undeterred by your own wetness..
Jessica Simpson has the most seductive mouth that can stiffen your tool with a whale of hardness even before you can jam it in. Your hairs will stand on edge not only from the torrent of pissing but from the trembling with the ecstasy.
The secretary in the office has a hunch you really like her but you both can’t find time to play. She has a boyfriend and you are always besieged by the time and work pressure. At the sound of the dismissal, you both run off in opposite ways. During weekends you are both far away doing your thing with your own circles.
The neighbor’s wife has been a perpetual teaser behind her hubby’s back. It’s like a con game meant to give you repeated discomfort because when you come on to her, she scoots away so fast. Meantime when nobody’s looking, she keeps blowing tongue plays your way.
Understandably, you don’t want to give it to your wife. It’s payback time because all throughout the married years she has always turned away with a mocking grin every time you tried to offer it to her.
You suddenly wake up in a cold sweat.
The wet dream blew past like a weird nightmare.
Horrors, you wet the sheets again.
It’s your turn at the window for the unemployment check but your pants are streaked with accidental streams and a small puddle has dripped at your feet.
The rotund black woman to your right grew large eyes, covered her face with her palm to stifle sobs, and strained to control her heaving shoulders.
What the hell you say and grab your leaking gun.
You stand up and spray everybody around with it.
The sentry chases you to the john but you are quicker and lock the door.
There in craziness you turn your spout on yourself and sprinkle yourself all over.
That’s how absurd suicide is.
The one with the smoking gun is only an upgraded version.
The unreality in the dream is the rat race which has enslaved you.
Chant the Maha Mantras to glorify the Abba Krishna to follow the right paths to life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness.
You were manipulated from birth to lose touch with God by controlled media and marketing campaigns of vested interests.
Break free with a mind of your own and cut cleanly from their merry-go-roundabout which is slavery to consumerism. Go back to the wisdom of the forefathers who drafted the American constitution imbued with principles under God.
Hare Krishna, Hare Rama, Abba Krishna
Those are the only phrases you have to know whether you are agnostic or atheist.
Those are the only phrases you have to superimpose over your own faith if you already belong to some other.
Different faiths will be united under the Abba Krishna as the One True God from different civilizations, cultures and persuasions.
Hang on to your deep dogmas but embrace the slogan of the Abba Krishna as the fusion of religion.
